April,
2008: Brilliant Boomers are still rocking…but not
on the porch!
Written and published
by: Dr. Toby Silverton & Dr. Bev McLagan
Silverton McLagan Coaching
What
are we thinking
about?
Not long ago we were telling someone about
our process of uprooting and moving to another continent.
“Wow”, she said, “you are so brave,
either that or maybe you’re just crazy!” Crazy most
certainly, but we definitely are not alone. More and more of us
“mid-lifers” refuse to be
“lifers” sentenced to the same old, same
old. Baby Boomers have
always been on the cutting edge, just think of the sixties! A
client and I had a good laugh this morning as we shared stories
of way too short mini-skirts and white go-go boots! We
agreed, we looked fabulous! So why would we be surprised that so many
mid-lifers are reimagining and reinventing their lives in new, unusual
and amazing ways? These are just some of the brilliant
‘boomer’ clients we know who have been willing to
rearrange their lives to follow their desires and actually make their
dreams happen… - social worker to
comedy writer
- governmental
manager returns to school for masters in music/singing
- script
assistant to children’s book store owner
- school
administrator returns to university for PhD and professorship
- chartered
accountant to police officer
- adopting a
child when single and in your forties
…and
still others have left the comfort of all they know to explore life and
career options further afield, like…
- movie
professional who moved to New Mexico to build a home in the hills
- legal
professional who has now travelled across the globe for work and
adventure
- writer who is now
‘making it’ in Hollywood
- analyst
who just moved to a world class city to experience a new life
Mid-life
crisis once stood for confusion, boredom, and discontent, not to
mention a few bad fashion decisions or transgressions, now mid-life stands for
adventure, new challenges, and a call to action.
If
you are not planning to slip quietly into mid-life here are a few
things to consider…
It’s Big! Everything
you ever thought you planned for your life is up in the air. When you
decide mid-life to reinvent your entire life it’s like
experiencing your own personal earthquake. It starts out with a few
rumbles then builds in intensity until you feel the earth move under
your feet (hmm, think I hear a song). One minute you feel absolutely
sure of what you are doing and the next you question your
sanity…and that’s completely normal!
4a.m. fears are the deadliest.
These are the times when you wake in a cold sweat (which is a pleasant
change from waking in a night sweat, you know what I mean) questionning
every decision you have made up to that point. Best advice, go back to
sleep because by 6am you will once again believe in your dream.
You cannot, absolutely cannot,
know every detail of the plan. Of course we believe in
planning, those of you who work with us know we advocate planning, but
realistically there are times when you have to act before you know all
the elements of the plan…but then that is in essence what an
adventure is all about…trying something new or leaping into
the unknown. That’s why we always call it our
“leap of faith” and it opens up the door to endless
possibilities and opportunities.
Worrying about
what others think just drives you crazy. Frankly, and somewhat
surprisingly, the majority of people who have heard of our adventure
have been astoundingly supportive, encouraging, and downright excited
for us. It’s been wonderful to bathe in their enthusiasm. Of
course there will always be the ‘nay sayers, the what iffers,
the yeah butters’ and you have to choose to let them
discourage you or not…NOT! I feel sorry for them, because I
do believe that their negativity comes directly from their fear or
their envy. Either way…not my problem! If I wanted doubts I
could come up with them all on my own! (see the 4am note). Just want to
say to them, “get your own adventure, you ARE capable of
it”.
So whether you are right at the
starting line of mid-life (hate to tell you but in terms of research we
consider this 30!) or approaching the other end of the continuum but
refusing to head for the porch, here is a little bit of hard earned
wisdom. Life does not stay the same. So why not…love that
question…why
not dream ahead, plan ahead and then join the revolution
of those who refuse to surrender?
Anybody can
reinvent their lives, but first you have to reimagine it!
Here’s how to start…
Building balanced
solutions
Get comfortable with change
– There is one absolutely predictable thing in life and that
is change. Sorry, folks, but change is unavoidable so now is the time
to get comfortable with it. You don’t have to start with a
life-blasting change, find small, fun risks and ease into change. If
you are thinking of starting a new business, volunteer or work part
time in a similar one to get the feel of it; if you plan to quit work
and return to school, start with one evening course to get your feet
wet; maybe you are thinking of moving halfway round the world (gulp)
take a trip to the place, hang out for a while and see if it feels like
home. You can reinvent your life in stages, big plunges are not for
everybody.
Learn
to let go – When faced with huge change, even
anticipated and exciting change, we tend to hang on to what we have and
what we know. Climbers know only too well, sometimes you have to let go
of your handhold and swing free before you can progress. The trick is
focusing on what you are reaching for, not letting go of. It is
difficult and takes numerous reminders to “not look
down”. But…when you get this concept you
are free to reach for the stars!
Be open to your dreams
– Imagination is like breathing to children. When you were a
kid you used to dream. When we get older we tend to put aside our
dreams, calling them unrealistic, naiive, or plain old silly.
Well, maybe it is time to drag them out and dust them off, or maybe
it’s high time to find a few new ones. It’s all
about being open to possibilities, to not be afraid to envision or
imagine what life could be like if…What could be a better
time than mid-life for that? You have the experience, you have the
wisdom, and you definitely have the courage.
Last month on Bigger than Balance
Blog…
A turkey was
spared…but the chocolate bunny didn’t fare as well March 8: International
Woman’s Day tribute Life is sometimes like running a
race You can’t manage your
time but you can manage your calendar
…and more
|
Keep
up to date with the Bigger
than Balance blog. Find lots of inspiration and how
to’s and take your life from burnout to balance to bliss!
Till next month…go for
bliss!
©
2003-2007 Silverton McLagan Coaching. All Rights Reserved
Resources –
quick links to check out resources (Clicking
on the blue underlined words allows
you to instantly purchase all books online, without leaving your
chair!) -
Happiness
Now!
by Robert Holden.
Purchase from Amazon | Canada | United
States | United
Kingdom -
Learn
to Say No, Fast!
(2006) Toby Silverton, PhD. and Bev McLagan, PhD. Talk about the gift
that keeps on giving, this one will last you a lifetime. http://www.livethesolution.com/products.html
-
The Burnout Trap:
Bounce
Back from Over-Busy, Over-Tired and Overwhelmed!
(2005) Toby Silverton, PhD. and Bev McLagan, PhD. http://www.theburnouttrap.com/
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