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 April, 2008:
Brilliant Boomers are still rocking…but not on the porch!

Written and published by: Dr. Toby Silverton & Dr. Bev McLagan
                                      Silverton McLagan Coaching


 Make sure to visit our new  BLOG every week because we are posting new articles, thoughts and links about burnout, balance and bliss.
http://www.biggerthanbalanceblog.typepad.com

arrowWhat are we thinking about?   

Not long ago we were telling someone about our process of uprooting and moving to another continent.  “Wow”, she said, “you are so brave, either that or maybe you’re just crazy!” Crazy most certainly, but we definitely are not alone. More and more of us “mid-lifers” refuse to be “lifers” sentenced to the same old, same old. 

Baby Boomers have always been on the cutting edge, just think of the sixties!  A client and I had a good laugh this morning as we shared stories of  way too short mini-skirts and white go-go boots! We agreed, we looked fabulous! So why would we be surprised that so many mid-lifers are reimagining and reinventing their lives in new, unusual and amazing ways? These are just some of the brilliant ‘boomer’ clients we know who have been willing to rearrange their lives to follow their desires and actually make their dreams happen…

  • social worker to comedy writer

  • governmental manager returns to school for masters in music/singing

  •  script assistant to children’s book store owner

  • school administrator returns to university for PhD and professorship

  • chartered accountant to police officer

  • adopting a child when single and in your forties
…and still others have left the comfort of all they know to explore life and career options further afield, like…
  • movie professional who moved to New Mexico to build a home in the hills

  • legal professional who has now travelled across the globe for work and adventure

  • writer who is now ‘making it’ in Hollywood

  • analyst who just moved to a world class city to experience a new life
Mid-life crisis once stood for confusion, boredom, and discontent, not to mention a few bad fashion decisions or transgressions, now mid-life stands for adventure, new challenges, and a call to action.

If you are not planning to slip quietly into mid-life here are a few things to consider…

It’s Big! Everything you ever thought you planned for your life is up in the air. When you decide mid-life to reinvent your entire life it’s like experiencing your own personal earthquake. It starts out with a few rumbles then builds in intensity until you feel the earth move under your feet (hmm, think I hear a song). One minute you feel absolutely sure of what you are doing and the next you question your sanity…and that’s completely normal!

4a.m. fears are the deadliest.  These are the times when you wake in a cold sweat (which is a pleasant change from waking in a night sweat, you know what I mean) questionning every decision you have made up to that point. Best advice, go back to sleep because by 6am you will once again believe in your dream.

You cannot, absolutely cannot, know every detail of the plan. Of course we believe in planning, those of you who work with us know we advocate planning, but realistically there are times when you have to act before you know all the elements of the plan…but then that is in essence what an adventure is all about…trying something new or leaping into the unknown.  That’s why we always call it our “leap of faith” and it opens up the door to endless possibilities and opportunities.

Worrying about what others think just drives you crazy. Frankly, and somewhat surprisingly, the majority of people who have heard of our adventure have been astoundingly supportive, encouraging, and downright excited for us. It’s been wonderful to bathe in their enthusiasm. Of course there will always be the ‘nay sayers, the what iffers, the yeah butters’ and you have to choose to let them discourage you or not…NOT! I feel sorry for them, because I do believe that their negativity comes directly from their fear or their envy. Either way…not my problem! If I wanted doubts I could come up with them all on my own! (see the 4am note). Just want to say to them, “get your own adventure, you ARE capable of it”.

So whether you are right at the starting line of mid-life (hate to tell you but in terms of research we consider this 30!) or approaching the other end of the continuum but refusing to head for the porch, here is a little bit of hard earned wisdom. Life does not stay the same. So why not…love that question…why not dream ahead, plan ahead and then join the revolution of those who refuse to surrender?

Anybody can reinvent their lives, but first you have to reimagine it! Here’s how to start…


arrow Building balanced solutions

Get comfortable with change – There is one absolutely predictable thing in life and that is change. Sorry, folks, but change is unavoidable so now is the time to get comfortable with it. You don’t have to start with a life-blasting change, find small, fun risks and ease into change. If you are thinking of starting a new business, volunteer or work part time in a similar one to get the feel of it; if you plan to quit work and return to school, start with one evening course to get your feet wet; maybe you are thinking of moving halfway round the world (gulp) take a trip to the place, hang out for a while and see if it feels like home. You can reinvent your life in stages, big plunges are not for everybody.

Learn to let go – When faced with huge change, even anticipated and exciting change, we tend to hang on to what we have and what we know. Climbers know only too well, sometimes you have to let go of your handhold and swing free before you can progress. The trick is focusing on what you are reaching for, not letting go of. It is difficult and takes numerous reminders to “not look down”.  But…when you get this concept you are free to reach for the stars!

Be open to your dreams – Imagination is like breathing to children. When you were a kid you used to dream. When we get older we tend to put aside our dreams, calling them unrealistic, naiive, or plain old silly.  Well, maybe it is time to drag them out and dust them off, or maybe it’s high time to find a few new ones. It’s all about being open to possibilities, to not be afraid to envision or imagine what life could be like if…What could be a better time than mid-life for that? You have the experience, you have the wisdom, and you definitely have the courage.


Last month on Bigger than Balance Blog…

A turkey was spared…but the chocolate bunny didn’t fare as well
March 8: International Woman’s Day tribute
Life is sometimes like running a race
You can’t manage your time but you can manage your calendar

…and more

Keep up to date with the Bigger than Balance blog. Find lots of inspiration and how to’s and take your life from burnout to balance to bliss!


Till next month…go for bliss!

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